1001 Uses of Peanut Butter

I love peanut butter. No, I LOVE peanut butter. Sometimes, when at home, I will eat peanut butter three times a day. Rarely does a day pass without my eating peanut butter at all. I can't say why, other than I love it! Eggo's and other waffles, English Muffins, toast and all manner of bread, cornbreads or scones are all fair game. I once tried peanut butter on another favorite food, pizza, but it didn't really do either any credit. One of the worst things about the two weeks of this trip so far is that I have only had a chance to have peanut butter twice (and pizza only once). Must redress this soon.

Anyways, today in Glacier National Park, we went on a tidy 4 mile hike in the Two Medicine Lake area. Beautiful area, great weather, terrific hike. We get back, and I notice this big blotch on the bottom portion of Gwen's pony tail. Turns out she had an encounter somewhere along the way with a pine tree, and the pine tree left its mark: a big glop of sap had fused together a significant portion of her ponytail into one clump.

The Park Ranger who'd guided the hike was sought for advice; she advised alcohol, which we were disappointed to learn did not mean beer, but rubbing alcohol. My wife asked the hotel's front desk where one might find some, only to be advised by the nice woman there that alcohol was a bad idea and might damage Gwen's hair. What was the right substance to use to leetch out the sap?

You guessed it: peanut butter.

I was happy. What father doesn't want to threaten their kids with doing crazy things, right? "If you don't finish your broccoli I'm going to put it in your chocolate milk and make you drink it!" Now I had real, live ammo. "Gwen, you and I have a date tonight, with some peanut butter." The Mom, knowing my affinity for the substance was only to happy to excuse herself to go do gaboons of laundry (is gaboons a real word? or is it just a LeLacheur family word?), and I was on. Sam was disarmed and relegated to a bed to write in his journal with the very credible threat of: "I've got this peanut butter, and I know how to use it. If you don't finish your journal soon DOT DOT DOT." He got the hint.

You know what, the peanut butter worked brilliantly. The sap was drawn out with little fuss or muss, and I got to enjoy one of my favorite smells in the process. I need to go thank the front desk person now. ;-)